First they hung around in peaceful groups above the roof line misleading us with their brilliant colors. In truth they were actually spying on us, maybe even taunting us, and simply waiting for the perfect opportunity to attack.
A few probing forces jumped early, ahead of the attack, and they were easy to drive out of the homeland with a few hand tools. I'm sure they poured over the intel they got from these early skirmishes because they changed tactics. After a short lull they charged in a coordinated massive attack.
Their ambush was perfectly planned. We weren't ready. There were too many of them, and we were too few. We fell back to a protective position in the pub while they streamed in under their colorful parachutes.
They thought they had us trapped, and they laid siege to both the front and back yards. But we were well stocked with provisions and patience and outlasted their feeble siege attempt.
We broke through the siege lines just after sunrise a few days later and made it to the smokehouse in the back of the garden and uncovered some old, mothballed heavy artillery. Their bodies were weak and colorless from the prolonged siege. They couldn't stand the 100+ mph wind assault of the mighty Toro 51586 leaf blower. They were no match. The Spartans would have been proud of our delaying tactics and our final triumph.
There were so many casualties mopping up operations took quite some time. We tried mulching their little lifeless forms with the lawnmower, but there were too many of them for the summertime machine. We retired the lawnmower and took up manual tools to assist in the cleanup. We finally collected their carcasses and gathered them up in bags. The local government will come around in a few days to take the bags to a mass burial site.
It turns out that there have been several battles like ours all over the neighborhood and there is a rumor that even though we clearly won this round, they will plot all summer long and attack again about the same time next year.
We'll have to invest in better equipment and think about a new defense plan this summer. As seasoned veterans, we'll be better prepared for next year!
see more pre-battle photos at http://gallery.mac.com/rude#100113
